My Grace is Sufficient

2 Corinthians 12

Therefore, to keep me from being too elated, a thorn was given to me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me, to keep me from being too elated. Three times I appealed to the Lord about this, that it would leave me, but he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ So, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities for the sake of Christ; for whenever I am weak, then I am strong.

I became a follower of Jesus when Paul first visited my city, Corinth, several years ago. Before that, I was what you would term a “pagan,” or one who worshipped many gods. And what’s more, as an unwilling subject of Rome, I was also expected to worship the emperor.

Corinth was a large city in our day. It had previously been totally destroyed by the Romans and then rebuilt upon its ashes by none other than Julius Caesar. In my day, it was a prosperous city, the capital of its local province in the Roman Empire.

I suppose it was natural for Paul to come to Corinth to start a church among our people. But you cannot imagine how difficult it would be for Paul to tell our pagan population that his god had been crucified by the Romans. I mean, gods just don’t get crucified!

Nevertheless, Paul persevered and, before long, a small church was meeting in the home of a local couple, Priscilla and Aquila, who were, like Paul, tentmakers.

I was attracted to Paul’s preaching. And also, to the small community of believers who were, like me, poor and unassuming. I fit right in, and as time went on, my faith in Christ grew. Then, on a very special day, I was baptized, an emotional and profound experience to say the least.

You may wonder how I learned about Jesus. Of course, the Bible that you have in your time did not exist for us. Mostly, we had stories about Jesus, passed down from eyewitnesses who actually knew him, to others, who shared them with us. I have to say that I was so impressed with all of the stories, but especially those of how Jesus healed people: lepers, the blind and deaf, the lame, and many more. I will explain why in a moment.

As you might expect, Paul preached about how God the Father had raised Jesus from the dead, and how he still lives! And how Jesus promised eternal life in him to those who would follow him. As a former pagan, such thoughts were, to me, revolutionary, to say the least. But also, wonderful!

Then, after eighteen months here in Corinth, Paul left us, going on to Ephesus and other places further east. You can imagine how he was missed! We loved Paul. Even when he scolded us, even when he pleaded with us to do right, we still loved him. His personal story of redemption after his life of persecuting the church was very compelling to us. And he freely confessed how sinful his previous life had been, a life that even included the arrest and murder of those who professed Christ.

It should be no surprise to you that we have struggled in Paul’s absence, waiting for his next letter to help set us back on course. Each letter we receive from him is a true treasure, shared over and over again with our struggling church. So, even in his absence, Paul continues to speak to us, correcting us, imploring us, and sharing his love for us. Above all, Paul always speaks the truth, even if it’s a painful truth.

The passage quoted above is from one of Paul’s letters to us. And his words about the “thorn” in his flesh stood out to me in a special way.

The Apostle Paul

Peter Paul Rubens, c. 1611

Those words seemed so odd when I first heard them read to our little church. Why? Because, you see, Paul had also healed people, even some in Corinth. Of course, when he did, he always claimed that it was only through the power of the Holy Spirit. He never took personal credit for any of his healings.

Yet, it occurred to me, that if Jesus healed people, and if Paul did as well, all in the name of Jesus, why did his “thorn in the flesh” remain unhealed, despite all of his prayers? Why couldn’t Paul, of all people, with his strong faith, be healed?

I had no answer to this and anyway, you may wonder, why this was so important to me.

Here’s why. You see, I, too, have a “thorn in the flesh,” and I fully agree with Paul that it is nothing less than “a messenger of Satan.” And, like Paul, the miracle of healing has eluded me, despite my urgent prayers.

I sought help from all quarters, but to no avail. And although Paul said that he prayed three times for healing, I can tell you that I have prayed many more times than that. Yet, my “thorn” remains.

So, I must ask: Has God overlooked me? Am I being punished for being nothing more than how I was born? Has evil won the battle for both my body and my soul? These questions have haunted me, especially now, since now I am a believer in the healing power of God. What am I doing wrong, not to be healed?

I will spare you the details of my thorn in the flesh. But you must know how troubling it is to me. It works to separate me from God, and it creates a sense of shame that won’t leave me, no matter how hard I try. I wish someone would explain to me why I was afflicted so.

Over and over, I have read Paul’s words about his thorn. And over and over, I have come away wondering why he wasn’t healed. And by extension, why I have not been healed, either. Are my prayers not heard? Has God turned his back on me? Can I still believe his promises?

I fervently wish Paul could be here to answer my questions. All that I can say is that I keep coming back to the words of Jesus, as spoken to Paul:

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

Can I believe that? Or, stated another way, can I accept that the grace of Christ truly is sufficient, even if my thorn is not healed? Can I believe that through the weakness of my thorn, the power of Christ can somehow be perfected?

That I have received grace from Christ is without question. My life is so different now, so much richer than my previous pagan life. In so many ways, I do feel a new life, one that opens me up to the light of Christ, and I have come alive in ways I could never imagine.

And the thorn? Yes, it does seem like a weakness, a deficiency, and the weight of a burden, one which calls for healing, a healing that so far has been denied. I seek to be free of it.

And yet, my thorn has also come with blessings. It humbles me, and unfortunately, humility is something I have always lacked. And more, my thorn has given me a sensitivity that I would otherwise miss. I can relate to and understand the weaknesses of others, how they struggle with their own personal thorns. Without my thorn in the flesh, I couldn’t begin to understand my brothers and sisters.

And amazingly, I haven’t lost faith. In my former life, I would have. But that was a life of give and take, cause and effect. Now, in my new life in Christ, the denial of my prayers for healing has somehow made my faith stronger. Honestly, I can’t explain that, but I do keep looking to Christ, not only for healing, but also for everything else in life, even for life itself. It’s almost as if there is an inner voice telling me to hold on, to endure, that all will be well, and that God’s plan for me can be trusted, even if I don’t understand it.

I know that none of this makes any sense. But as I have grown in my faith, I have come to understand that most of us, perhaps all of us, have a thorn of one kind or another. And that Paul’s words of acceptance of his thorn, and his praise for the weakness that came with it, really do allow the power of Christ to dwell in him.

Yes, like so much about our faith in Christ, praising God for a weakness seems so non-sensical, backwards in so many ways. Truly, it’s a paradox. But you know what? His grace truly is sufficient. Sufficient for what? Sufficient to follow him, to live a life he has planned for me, even if my healing is not part of it. A life that I would not trade for anything in the world.

And one more thing. Yes, as I said, it was hard for Paul to convince us pagan Corinthians to follow a god who had been crucified. A crucified god is a defeated god, after all. Yet we have come to believe that Jesus was raised from the dead, and that the same power that raised him is available to us as well.

Jesus never promised to heal everyone. In fact, he didn’t come to live with us here so that he could heal all of our thorns in the flesh. Instead, he came to offer us salvation, a life in abundance, and a life in him. Speaking for myself, that’s a promise that Jesus has kept, one which has been life-changing for me.

What it comes down to for me is my faith in one of Paul’s favorite expressions. Whenever we felt discouraged and defeated, he would tell us this:

“We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.” 

Did Paul really mean “All things?” Even my thorn? Either way, I still pray for healing. Until then, the Lord’s grace will be sufficient as I allow all things, even my thorn, to work together for good.