“I am a sinful man”

Luke 5

“Once while Jesus was standing beside the Lake of Gennesaret and the crowd was pressing in on him to hear the word of God, he saw two boats there at the shore of the lake; the fishermen had gotten out of them and were washing their nets. He got into one of the boats, the one belonging to Simon, and asked him to put out a little way from the shore. Then he sat down and taught the crowds from the boat. When he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, ‘Put out into the deep water and let down your nets for a catch.’ Simon answered, ‘Master, we have worked all night long but have caught nothing. Yet if you say so, I will let down the nets.’  When they had done this, they caught so many fish that their nets were beginning to burst. So they signaled their partners in the other boat to come and help them. And they came and filled both boats, so that they began to sink. But when Simon Peter saw it, he fell down at Jesus’s knees, saying, ‘Go away from me, Lord, for I am a sinful man!’ For he and all who were with him were astounded at the catch of fish that they had taken, and so also were James and John, sons of Zebedee, who were partners with Simon. Then Jesus said to Simon, ‘Do not be afraid; from now on you will be catching people.’ When they had brought their boats to shore, they left everything and followed him.”  (Luke 5)

From the Orthodox Cathedral

These were the first recorded words of Simon (now Peter) in the Gospel of Luke. As a result, you may think he and Jesus were complete strangers, and that the calling of Jesus was sudden and unexpected. But that was not the case. You see, Jesus had already been in Capernaum, Peter’s hometown, for quite a while. Actually, he came there, straight from Nazareth, after suffering a humiliating rejection in his hometown. You may recall that in Nazareth, the residents tried to kill Jesus for his sharp words in their synagogue.

Capernaum gave Jesus a much warmer welcome, as did Peter, inviting him to lodge at his home. You may also remember that just prior to this passage, Luke recorded how Jesus healed Peter’s mother-in-law of a terrible fever.

How do I know all of this? Well, I was present that day to hear Jesus teach from the boat. And I had known Peter (then Simon) and his brother, Andrew, for years. And yes, I can attest that Jesus was, in fact, living with Peter. I can also confirm that, just as Peter had said to Jesus, he was, indeed, a sinful man! (And Jesus didn’t disagree!) More about that in a moment.

You certainly can’t miss the symbolism in this story. Yes, Peter, his brother Andrew, and their partners, James and John were fishermen. And I can tell you, they were good at their trade. But now, as Jesus prophesied, they would no longer fish, at least, not in a literal sense, but would instead, fish for people! And just as happened with the fish that day, when they fished for people, they would be “astounded at the catch!”

Because you surely remember that all four did become some of the most prominent apostles of Jesus. All of them are amply documented in the gospels that you can read in your time.

And where would they fish? In the deep water: the deep water, where you can’t physically see the fish, but where you must persevere in the faith that they will be there and can be found, despite the murky depths. Yes, they fished in the deep water of Jerusalem, and in the deeper water of Greece, and even in the deepest water of Rome.

And what’s more, the fish in such deep water can’t be caught without the ultimate fisherman himself, Jesus. Faith in him is required to be successful. Otherwise, a fisherman might work “all night long” as Peter said, and catch nothing.

And what about Peter’s plea to Jesus to leave him alone? To literally “go away?”

It was because of Peter’s feelings of guilt over his sins. I probably shouldn’t dwell too much on the sinfulness of Peter. After all, each one of us is a sinner, right? And, it might be a sin for me to even attempt to document all of Peter’s sins. Besides, I must confess that I actually participated in some of them!

So, let me just point out a few, hopefully without getting into too much trouble, either with Peter, or worse, with Jesus.

You no doubt remember how, on the night of Jesus’ arrest, Peter, when pressed, denied even knowing him. Not once, but three times! And I am sure you did not miss the fact that Jesus even told Peter, in advance, about his denial.

But you might not remember that, earlier that same evening, Jesus had asked Peter, James and John to sit with him while he prayed for release from his fate. And that all three of them slept as Jesus literally sweated blood in his appeals to his Father.

And even earlier, Jesus had to rebuke Peter when he called Jesus out for predicting his crucifixion.

“From that time on, Jesus began to show his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and undergo great suffering at the hands of the elders and chief priests and scribes and be killed and on the third day be raised. And Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him, saying, ‘God forbid it, Lord! This must never happen to you.’  But he turned and said to Peter, ‘Get behind me, Satan! You are a hindrance to me, for you are setting your mind not on divine things but on human things.’”  (Matthew 16)

Yes, Peter was, indeed, very human. I believe, in fact, that it was his humanity that attracted Jesus to him. I mean, there was no guile in Peter. He could never be a schemer. Yes, he was impulsive, too much so, and yes, he said and did things that he later regretted. But then, he got over it, living in the faith that Jesus loved him and had chosen him for a good reason.

Jesus, after he was raised from the dead, actually asked Peter if he loved him. Not once, but three times! (John 21)

Jesus knew. He always knew that Peter loved him. And he knew Peter, perhaps better than Peter could know himself. He somehow knew that Peter would become a great apostle, even a leader of the apostles, and a faithful follower whose voice, across the centuries, would not be stilled. Even his death on a cross of his own would not silence Peter’s voice.

Was Peter a good fisherman? Yes, as I said, he was. After all, he made a good living catching fish. But how could he know that he was destined to become, as Jesus predicted, such a great fisher of people?

He couldn’t possibly see what Jesus saw in him. I go back to that day. That day on the shore, when Peter’s life as a fisherman was forever changed, replaced by a life that he couldn’t possibly imagine. I mean, all he knew was fishing and living in the small backwater village of Capernaum. How could he possibly know that following Jesus would lead him to preach the very first evangelistic sermon, a sermon that resulted in the conversion of a large crowd to follow Jesus? (Acts 2)

How could he know that someday, he would confront the highest of our religious leaders in Jerusalem, fiercely calling them out for their hatred of Jesus? (Acts 4)

How could he know, back on the shore in Capernaum, that someday, he would see Rome? That he would literally die there for his faith and love of Christ?

I can’t think of a life more changed as a result of an encounter with Jesus. From the moment when he “left everything and followed him,” nothing in Peter’s life was ever the same.

So, let me ask you: was Peter, in fact, a sinful man, as he said? Most assuredly, he was. Yet, even as he asked Jesus to “go away” he confessed his sins, right there, in front of everyone. And he called Jesus “Lord.”

“Go away from me, Lord, for I am a sinful man!”

How could he know, at such an early point in their relationship, to call Jesus “Lord?”

Personally, I believe that quality, Peter’s willingness to speak what he saw as the truth, straight from his heart, is what Jesus saw in him. That’s why, in my opinion, Peter, through his faith in Christ, became perhaps the greatest of all fishermen.

And what about you and me? If we’re honest, as Peter was, we will admit that we, too, are sinful. But just as Jesus didn’t accept that excuse in Peter, he won’t accept it in you and me. He will still call you and me to follow him, just as he did with Peter.

We can tell Jesus to “go away!”  as Peter did, but you know what? He won’t.

It comes down to this: is it possible that Jesus sees qualities in you and me that we don’t see? There’s only one way to find out. Let Jesus show you too, like he did for Peter, a destiny in you that you can’t possibly imagine!