Farewell

2 Timothy

“As for me, I am already being poured out as a libation, and the time of my departure has come. I have fought the good fight; I have finished the race; I have kept the faith. From now on there is reserved for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will give me on that day, and not only to me but also to all who have longed for his appearing.” (2 Timothy 4)

These words concluded Paul’s farewell letter to Timothy, his son in the faith. And now that his letter has been widely shared, we can read it in its entirety as Paul’s farewell message to all Christians everywhere.

I ponder Paul’s words of farewell because I, too, am feeling called to write such a message. You see, like Paul, my days have become short. In fact, my days will end tomorrow, when, for the sake of my faith in Jesus Christ, I will be executed by the Romans. So, perhaps you can understand why now, as my earthly life is closing, a farewell message has become important to me.

What should I say? What words would I choose to leave behind as I exit from this life into the life to come with my Lord, Jesus Christ? To whom will I address my farewell message? So many questions, and so little time!

Please pray for me. I’m not asking you to pray for my life to be spared. I am ready to go. No, I am asking you to pray that my farewell message will bring honor to our Lord, just as I have tried, since He brought me to faith, to bring honor to Him.

Who am I? No one of any importance. A sinner, for sure. And I was one whose guilt weighed heavily, knowing that, in my own righteousness, I could never approach the throne of God. It was clear to me where I stood, guilty in the first degree.

That’s where Jesus came in. Yes, Jesus, the one who preached and healed. The one who died, giving His life as “a ransom for many” (Mark 10). Jesus, the one who captured my heart in a way that I did not think possible. Jesus, the one who gave me a life rich beyond anything I could ever imagine. Jesus, the one who forgave me.

When He called, I followed Him. Even though I was not a respected person, and even though I was known to be one who’d strayed from the law, Jesus called me into His ministry. In disbelief that He could call someone as sinful as me, I jumped at the opportunity. I didn’t give Jesus the time to change His mind!

It took a while before I could follow Him in any effective way. It wasn’t just a matter of learning something new. There was more, much more. I had to understand at the deepest level that I could be loved and forgiven. That was hard, very hard. And, struggling, I found that I had to re-learn it every day.

But Jesus was patient. He brought me along slowly, helping me to fully believe that I could shed the weight of shame that had brought me so low. His timing was perfect, nothing wasted.

In great gratitude, I vowed to do everything that I could to honor Him. Even as our religious leaders tried to tear Jesus down, finding fault in His every word and action, I spoke up on His behalf.

I taught and I served, finding more and more opportunity as doors seemed to open for me to go further and deeper into the life that He so freely offered. Thanks to Jesus, my life now had purpose, a newfound energy, and a sense of belonging to something so dear that it seemed to be sacred to me. I wouldn’t give it up for anything!

But my desire to honor Jesus got me in trouble. Opposition arose from those who felt threatened by Jesus. I was blind to it, and perhaps in a way, that was a good thing. Because I kept on, not noticing how dangerous that opposition had become. And so, I continued to speak out for Jesus.

Then, to my surprise, I was arrested on trumped-up charges of sedition. False witnesses sealed my fate and so, here I am, in prison, sentenced to die tomorrow.

I have a family. And I have friends, too. Some are, like me, followers of Jesus, while others are not. I am sorry to say that some of my friends rejected me for following Jesus. What should I tell them in my farewell message? What do they need to know about my life journey? About what I value the most? About what God has done in and for me? And through me?

Do I list my accomplishments? No, I don’t think so. You see, I have long passed the point in life when I need to impress anyone. So, I can be content in allowing my life to speak for itself.

The Apostle Paul has written that his former life, the life before Christ, was “rubbish” and that boasting was a waste of time. Now, in his new life, all he wanted to do was to “boast in the Lord.” I quite agree.

Perhaps my farewell message might express how I am facing death. Admittedly, facing death is a test of my faith. And honestly, I do feel some level of fear, yes, a fear of what will follow, the unknown fate of an after-life. But at the same time, I also feel a comfort, having been known by Christ, and knowing Him. Can I feel both? It seems that I can.

I am reminded of more of Paul’s farewell message to Timothy, also a message from prison:

Do not be ashamed, then, of the testimony about our Lord or of me his prisoner, but join with me in suffering for the gospel, in the power of God,  who saved us and called us with a holy calling, not according to our works but according to his own purpose and grace, and this grace was given to us in Christ Jesus before the ages began, but it has now been revealed through the appearing of our Savior Jesus Christ, who abolished death and brought life and immortality to light through the gospel. For this gospel I was appointed a herald and an apostle and a teacher, and for this reason I suffer as I do. But I am not ashamed, for I know the one in whom I have put my trust, and I am sure that he is able to guard until that day the deposit I have entrusted to him.

Paul Writing His Epistles (c. 1619), by Valentin de Boulogne

Perhaps I could write something similar to Paul’s words. What would you advise? I want my message to honor God, to express my gratitude for his presence in my life. Before Jesus, I was living, but honestly, I was just going through the motions of a life not worth living. There was no purpose, no energy. It was as if I was sleepwalking. It seemed that a true life, a life of vitality was, thanks to my guilt and shame, totally out of reach.

But Jesus changed all that. It wasn’t just the new life in Him. That might have been enough in itself. But there was more, because my new life in Christ taught me that all along, even in my former life of sin, God was preparing me, nudging me, and opening the door for me to become a new person in Christ. I just couldn’t see it at the time but now, looking back, I can. In fact, when I look back at my life, I can so clearly see God’s hand in everything!

Did Jesus keep me from sinning, ever again? I wish He had, but no, He did not. I still violate even the basics of his commandments. But yet, on the other hand, I feel like a new person, one who is becoming, one who is no longer living in darkness, but in the light. That light, His light, makes all the difference!

In my prison cell, when I meditate on Him, in silence, I imagine His face, looking at me in love. And unconsciously, my face breaks into a broad smile. I can’t explain it except to say that it’s a moment in time when we are connected, my Lord and me. And that connection is the greatest feeling, one that strengthens my faith.

I have been a prisoner before, before Jesus. That prison was one of my own making. He brought me out of that cell, and into a light that continues to shine, even in the darkness of this prison. Even in the darkness of my fate tomorrow.

I know that I’m rambling. Thoughts are coming and going, in so many directions. So, let me close this letter to you. And as I said, please pray for me. I just want to leave something behind, some message for anyone who might read it, a message of great gratitude, one that honors my Lord. And remember, I don’t have much time!

Oh, and one final thing: if you were to find yourself, like me, short on time, what farewell message would you write?