But Some Doubted

Matthew 28

“Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted. Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me.  Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

You may have read this quote from the Gospel of Matthew dozens of times and thought nothing of the words “but some doubted.” Don’t those words seem out of place? Often, we can become so familiar with passages of scripture that we read through them quickly and miss something significant.

Well, I am here to tell you to slow down! Meaning can be found, even in the most obscure, otherwise dry (and at first glance, strange) passages. And no, I am not a theologian or religious scholar and this is a story, not a treatise.

You might be surprised, in fact, to learn that I am actually quite illiterate, a fisherman by trade and a witness to the scene described above. I am, you see, a disciple of Jesus, one who followed him for three years. I was present, along with others, to hear the last words of Jesus before he ascended up to heaven.

And you should know that despite what was recorded, there were more followers present at this scene, in addition to the eleven. The Apostle Paul has told us that over five hundred people witnessed the Risen Christ. I believe him and can testify that there was quite a crowd on the mountain in Galilee, where all of this took place.

Back to the story: why would anyone witnessing the Risen Christ harbor any doubt? Some of us (most of us, actually) had followed Jesus for three years. We saw him every day. We ate with him, slept with him, laughed and cried with him. We knew his voice. Even his mannerisms had become quite familiar to us. How could any of us, when we knew him so well, doubt that this figure was really Jesus?

Yet some did. Why? How could they?

You might also remember this passage from the Gospel of John (John 20):

But Mary stood weeping outside the tomb. As she wept, she bent over to look into the tomb; and she saw two angels in white, sitting where the body of Jesus had been lying, one at the head and the other at the feet. They said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping?” She said to them, “They have taken away my Lord, and I do not know where they have laid him.”  When she had said this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, but she did not know that it was Jesus.  Jesus said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping? Whom are you looking for?” Supposing him to be the gardener, she said to him, “Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have laid him, and I will take him away.” Jesus said to her, “Mary!” She turned and said to him in Hebrew, “Rabbouni!” (which means Teacher).

How could Mary not know Jesus?

How could the two disciples, on their way to Emmaus after the crucifixion, walk for miles with Jesus, converse with him, and fail to recognize him until, over supper, he broke the bread?

Let me explain. You might be surprised to learn that doubt always played a part in the ministry of Jesus (remember the man who said, “I believe, help my unbelief”?). 

I don’t mean to say that Jesus ever sowed the seeds of doubt. That would be incorrect. What I do mean is that all of us who followed Jesus experienced doubt and that it stemmed from our own expectations and preconceptions. And I have to add that Jesus did not choose to single-handedly eliminate all our doubts. Jesus, after all, expressed many mysteries of God. In short, he allowed our doubts, permitting our faith to grow on its own accord, in spite of them. Faith and doubt, you see, go hand in hand. In fact, faith assumes the existence of doubt and is impossible without it. Without doubt and questioning, how can there be faith?

So, you may be wondering if Jesus was somehow different after he was raised from the dead. Was he? Did he look different? Sound different? And if so, could that be the reason why some doubted it was really him? Could that be why Mary failed to recognize him at first, and why the two pilgrims to Emmaus failed to recognize him until he broke the bread?

You will need to answer these questions for yourself. But I do have a theory, which I will reluctantly share with you. And maybe by now you have realized that I have many theories about many things, most of which you should definitely ignore!

First: There was no reason why the gospel writers would even report this unless it was true. Why? Because reporting the doubters would do nothing more than seed further doubt. If they wanted to convince non-believers about the resurrection, they might have simply left out the fact that some doubted.

Second: there really was something different about him. Jesus had been crucified. His body had been brutally impacted by the torture and death that he experienced. You may remember that Thomas needed to see the imprint of the nails that held Jesus to the cross, and that Jesus accommodated him. So, for that reason alone, the risen Jesus did look different from the pre-crucifixion Jesus. But he was not a ghost as some have conjectured.

In my opinion, though, there is a deeper reason why some doubted. It wasn’t so much that Jesus had physically changed beyond recognition. Instead, they doubted because their view of him had not changed. Let me repeat: their view of Jesus had not changed and that is how it was possible for them to doubt.

I should explain. Throughout his time with us, Jesus was a man. He looked like a man, spoke like a man, and acted like a man. He even called himself the “Son of Man.” Yes, we knew that he was exceptional in so many ways. And practically everyone knew that, even his enemies. Why else would they so desperately want to eliminate him?

Yet some of us knew that Jesus was actually more than a man. Yes, many thought him to be the Messiah, but the Messiah was expected to be a man, albeit a special man, a leader sent from God in the order of Moses and a king in the order of David.

But Jesus was revealed to some of us as even more than the Messiah. He, was, of course, the Messiah, but he was also a great deal more. We understood, you see, that Jesus was the Son of God, a person conceived by the Holy Spirit, both human and divine. Those of us who had witnessed him transfigured saw his true nature firsthand.

Peter understood, and so did some of the others among us. Remember Peter’s response when Jesus asked “But who do you say that I am?” Peter responded, “You are the Messiah, the Son of the Living God.” To which Jesus responded, “Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah! For flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but my Father in heaven.”

But many others continued to believe that Jesus was human and mortal. They missed the fact that in his crucifixion and resurrection, something about Jesus did, in fact, change. What changed is that he was glorified.

Glorified? What does that even mean?

Rembrandt 1636

Listen to the words of Jesus, reported in the Gospel of John:

After Jesus had spoken these words, he looked up to heaven and said, “Father, the hour has come; glorify your Son so that the Son may glorify you, since you have given him authority over all people, to give eternal life to all whom you have given him. And this is eternal life, that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent. I glorified you on earth by finishing the work that you gave me to do. So now, Father, glorify me in your own presence with the glory that I had in your presence before the world existed.

And now I am no longer in the world, but they are in the world, and I am coming to you. Now the Son of Man has been glorified, and God has been glorified in him.  If God has been glorified in him, God will also glorify him in himself and will glorify him at once.”

I cannot describe what it meant for Jesus to be glorified. That is beyond my capacity, too demanding for my simple words to explain. What I can tell you is that Jesus was still Jesus, but he was also now the Risen Christ. He carried himself in a new way. His words seemed to speak in a new way. There was a new presence about him, one that the man Jesus had not previously shown to us. In short, there truly was a “glory” about Jesus that had not been there before. In a way I cannot explain, Jesus the man was transformed into Jesus the Christ.

Jesus was, as he said, “no longer in the world,” and in some way beyond my words, that was evident, at least to some of us. And as Jesus said, we “are in the world.” So, in a mysterious way, the Risen Christ was in a world apart from the rest of us. He had been glorified. Perhaps you might think of him as being somehow in between, a figure with a presence both in heaven and on earth.

I admit, all of this is a mystery. Maybe someday, it will all be clear. But for now, the mystery remains. And don’t forget, as Jesus told Peter, the mystery that only the Father can reveal Jesus as the Son of God.

And what if you would have been one of those who doubted? What if you, even today, harbor doubts? What if you, like so many others, struggle to comprehend what it meant for Jesus to be “glorified?”

You are not alone and I hope you remember that Jesus never condemned anyone whose faith was not ironclad. Even on the mountain in Galilee, as he was about to leave us, what did he say to those who doubted?

Actually, he didn’t say anything just to them. What he said, he said to us all, including the doubters: he told us to go and make disciples. And remember: Jesus never told anyone to fake their faith in him. He accepts our doubts and he never gives up on us.

So, for now, in this human and imperfect life, don’t be afraid to admit your doubts. Christ understands. He accepts each of us as we are, not as how we would like to be (or pretend to be). And you know what? That is one of the best things about Christ!